The FRITZ – “The game is still afoot.”

So sorry that I missed FRITZing with you all last week. The Amazing Race was off due to an awards show about music of the country variety, so I feel less bad since there was only Survivor to recap. But I’m back, Doc. Back from the future.

Survivor: One World

So remember how this season started out as “one world,” since, well, that’s the title of the season, but then it contradicted the title and became two worlds, but then the tribes quickly merged so it became one world again? Turns out we’re back to two worlds, with the women having a total field day with the brain-dead men.

Last week Kim concocted a lie that Mike was out to get Troyzan, and Troyzan fell for it since his name is Troyzan. That left the men outnumbered 6-4 heading into this week’s episode, and — what’s this? Another lame do-it-yourself challenge with even lamer play-by-play commentary by Troyzan? Just what I wanted.

Keeping the “two worlds” non-theme alive, the reward challenge split the tribe in two as the five winning members got to enjoy a boat ride and a barbecue. Said Tarzan of the crabs being prepared for them: “They’re beautiful color-wise and architecturally.”

ARCHITECTURALLY. CRABS. Who is this man?

The immunity challenge was that old Survivor stand-by of holding your arm in the air for as long as possible, or more likely until Jeff Probst brings out a doughnut for you. Tarzan was out after approximately .3 seconds and Probst asked him if his feet were the problem.

“No. Just general failure.”

GENERAL FAILURE. Who is this man?

Chelsea eventually won immunity, and she expressed doubts over voting out either dear friend Troyzan or dear friend Jay. The girls maintained that their only shot of winning was to knock out the men, so they deceived Jay hook-line-and-sinker.

But Troyzan would not be so easily convinced. He wound up playing his hidden immunity idol, despite not receiving the most votes. Jay and his southern drawl left the game, leaving the men outnumbered 6-3 now. Tarzan, any thoughts on the current state of the game?

Said Tarzan at tribal council while wearing Monica’s red gown: “The game is still afoot.”

WEARING MONICA’S RED GOWN. WHO IS THIS MAN?

Race LogoThe Amazing Race

THE GIG IS UP. YOU GUYS AREN’T TEACHERS. YOU’RE IN LAW ENFORCEMENT.

HOW. DARE. YOU. LIE. TO. US.

Art/JJ loved stirring the pot this week on a less social reality show where pot-stirring isn’t usually done among the teams. But they pegged Nary/Jamie as liars, liars, pants on fires and wouldn’t let it go. The “teachers” handled the situation brilliantly though by not giving into the patrol agents.

More of the drama this episode came with a random airport fight in which Brendon brushed too aggressively against Ralph and then apparently gave him the finger. Also, Vanessa called Rachel old, and Rachel cried.

So in other words, it was just another day for Rachel.

The teams flew to beautiful Tanzania this week, which, unlike Azerbaijan, is indeed a country in Africa. The teams signed up for charter flights over the region, complete with breath-taking views of the African landscape — unless you’re Nary and you just sleep through the entire flight because you’re a “teacher” and “teaching” is exhausting “work.”

Wink.

This week’s tasks included shooting clay rabbits while a poor Tanzanian man rode a bike that made the rabbits spin in circles. Also, teams could repetitively jump really high with Tanzanian people for 60 consecutive seconds. Mark/Bopper could’ve done that all day!

The episode culminated with a massive tent-making challenge which had to clear the approval of RANDOM TENT LADY. Random Tent Lady was Caucasian, making her an even more random figurehead in the Tanzanian culture.

In the end Nary/Jamie couldn’t hone their “teaching” skills — or their FBI skills — and they finished last. BUT it was a non-elimination leg, so they live to “teach” another day.

Is it Kim’s game to lose on Survivor? Is Tarzan the best thing to happen to this show since the removal of redemption island? Who’re your favorites on the Race?

  • College Jay

    The best thing about Tarzan wearing Monica’s dress is that nobody mentioned it. Remember how Whitney from last season wore Elyse’s bikini after Elyse was blindsided? Tarzan has really brought a new spin on that tradition. I really like him. He has no shot of winning, but he’s injecting a lot of color into this season, where otherwise Kim is just Boston Robbing her way to the win (and although it’s novel for a woman to be playing that sort of game, that doesn’t make it interesting.) Oh, and the tent lady is one of my favorite Amazing Race NPCs in a long time. I loved her accent! Prim African colonialists FTW.