WANDERERS: this is it. We’re really getting down to it. As I wrap this holiday blogging vacation, I’m nearing the end of my 2013 countdown/up/sideways featuring my top 6 posts of the year.
If you’ve missed any of the action to this point, my #6 post of 2013 was “As Tom Daley Comes Out.” My #5 post was “Tenth Avenue North Songs: TMZ’s Top-11 Favorites.” My #4 post was “INTELLECTION: My #1 ‘Strengths Finder’ Strength.” And most recently, my #3 post of 2013 was “Brandon Heath Songs: TMZ’s Top-11 Favorites.”
And now, my second most popular post for the year regarding page views; regarding comments, this was far and away my most popular. I’ll simply let the post speak for itself. It’s from June 17, and it’s called, “Quarter-Life Confessions of a Gay Christian.”
Check out the excerpt below, and read the rest here. Be sure to return to my blog tomorrow for the ultimate unveiling of my #1 post of 2013!
I recently published a book. My first. You might have heard. It’s all about struggle and redemption, and I titled it Struggle Central: Quarter-Life Confessions of a Messed Up Christian.
But that’s almost not what it was called.
I spent many weeks brainstorming the perfect title. The “Struggle Central” portion emerged without much conscious effort thanks to last summer’s hearty camp experience hiding in bathroom stalls – my centralized Struggle Headquarters of four flimsy walls and a toilet.
The main title was easy; figuring out the subtitle, however, required more time and brainstorming.
Among many potential ideas, one was “Quarter-Life Confessions of a Gay Christian.” Ultimately, I switched out “Gay Christian” for “Messed Up Christian” since the book wasn’t entirely about my struggle with homo–
Oh, what’s that? You hadn’t heard?
Well then. Let me explain. Ever since I published Struggle Central two months ago, it’s been the purple bedazzled elephant in the room that I’ve been desperately wanting to kill.
So, let’s kill that elephant already.
My name is Tom. I’m 26, and I’m a Christian.
And I’m also gay.
A Gay Christian from Youth
For 19 years, I didn’t tell a soul about my sexuality. Hardly accepted or even understood my elementary attractions myself.
I mean, I’d known since second grade – distinctly remember innocent childhood desires for a male “best friend” I could see outside school and perhaps hold and fall asleep beside at night. But as my clandestine emotional desires grew more sexualized throughout my teenage years, I started realizing my harrowing situation.
I was gay; I was Christian. I supposed that made me a “gay Christian,” if ever there could be such a thing. Nobody else knew – never even suspected anything. Despite never dating a girl, I never received any verbal attacks of “fag” or “queer.” Was never called out on my secret sexuality and never even heard rumors that my peers thought I was gay.
Apparently, I was the straightest gay Christian there was.
After all, I was a Christian; Christians don’t struggle with that. Good heavens. Rather than label me gay, I imagined everyone in my perpetual Christian bubble of school-church-family simply assuming me a quiet coward when it came to girls.