I Don’t Want to Do This

I don’t want to do this. But here I am. Blogging. Tonight. Late. After 10pm. Hardly an hour or two to spare until midnight.

Just in time for Day 20.

Today’s a great example of doing something I don’t want to do after an entire day of doing what I live for. This morning, I ventured out to the Smokies, a two-hour jaunt from her close cousin, the Blue Ridge. There I reunited with a Californian friend I’d not seen in over two years, and we spent the entire day trading stories in a rental car, wandering around loops and vistas and observation towers in the nation’s most popular national park.

Today really did encapsulate what I live for: the stories and the adventure and the new stories that emerge from the adventure.

The entire drive home tonight, I wondered:

How can I fast-forward my life beyond 8-4 jobs, rent payments, and yearning for tomorrow?

How can I turn tomorrow into today?

How can my day today be like my day tomorrow?

I thought a lot of thoughts tonight regarding cars and bikes and finances and houses and cities and travels and longevity. I’m gonna sleep on it and see where I’m at tomorrow.

On Day 21. Even if I don’t want to.

This is Day 20 of #MakeNovemberTolerable. Keep checking back every day this month for new stories and discoveries of beauty where beauty may be hard to find.

  • naturgesetz

    You don’t see the importance of a job which has you living for others? You can’t find joy in that?

    That may be too harsh. You may need to be on the move — a compulsion you have no choice but to obey.

    • Don’t think I said that I don’t see the importance/joy in my job…

      • naturgesetz

        No, you didn’t “say” it, but “Today really did encapsulate what I live for: the stories and the adventure and the new stories that emerge from the adventure,” and “How can I fast-forward my life beyond 8-4 jobs, rent payments, and yearning for tomorrow?” come across _to me_ as implying that your current position, its importance, and the joy it gives, are less important to you than “adventure.”

        The question that has occurred to me is whether this constant desire for life on the road is another addiction of yours.

        • I find joy and importance in celebrating Christmas with my family. Doesn’t mean I want it to be Christmas with my family every day for the rest of my life, though. Seasons exist for a reason. Ups and downs, fulfillment and yearning, death and life. I appreciate all elements for good of the story at large.

          Also, nurtagaertzsetz, has anyone ever told you that your comments are like that eyelash you can’t pluck from your cornea? A metaphor of love.