Your Other Brothers: My New Blog

So, I just launched a new blog! With a lot of help from my friends. It’s called Your Other Brothers, and it’s a storytelling community for Christianity amid struggles with homosexuality. These last few years of writing more openly about faith and sexuality have introduced me to some of my dearest friends all over the world. I’m […]

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I Just Want My Dad to Want Me

I walk into work on Tuesday morning and look up at the group assignment board, and my heart drops. For the first time in two months, my name is not listed beneath the addicts’ group. I’ll be returning to the first group of boys I ever worked with here, but now that all these months have gone […]

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I Want to be a Drug Addict, Too

I’m with the teen addicts for the third straight week, and they do not frighten me anymore. Their gruff voices and patchy ‘staches no longer leave my masculinity-challenged soul reeling. These 17- and 18-year-old guys aren’t big and scary; they are still kids, small and wounded. Their hearts, gentle and genuine. I am enjoying this group more with every passing day […]

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My Brother Said He Loves Me

I’ve returned to the addicts group. It’s the first time in five shifts that I’ve reunited with a group, and it’s already made for a smoother integration. For this familiarity to occur with the oldest, previously most intimidating group full of mustaches and patchy beards is a welcome surprise. I’ve teamed back up with 18-year-old Matt, the “bad twin” who also has […]

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I’m a Drug Addict

“Hi, I’m Matt and I’m a drug addict.” “Hi Matt,” the others respond. I sit with them as the 12-step meeting unfolds around a campfire, and I can’t pretend this is just another day with another group of kids in the Blue Ridge Mountains. The air feels prickly, the people and struggles and emotions so very more […]

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My Parents Don’t Want Me Anymore

“It’s Jack!” they scream, peering into the pickup. “He came back!” I climb out of the truck. “Actually, my name is Tom. Jack was the other guy.” I reintroduce myself to the seven middle school boys I’d met during my training week with Jack and four fellow trainees. I’ve only just started this job in […]

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I’m Fucking Afraid of the Dark

Girls. In all my youth involvement over the years, I’ve never worked with young girls. Not exclusively, at least. Not in the classroom and certainly not in the wild. I’ve grown quite accustomed to boys of all ages. Boys who swear and fight and fart. For the second week of my new wilderness therapy job, however, I was working […]

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I’m Worthless. I’m Pointless. I’m Hopeless. I’m Pathetic.

What a strange and comforting thing last week to find myself awakening in the same tufted mountains that changed my life three years ago. The differences between that Christian camp of yesteryear and my current youth wilderness therapy program are many, but the pristine setting was the same. We hiked the second tallest mountain in Georgia one sunrise, and I cried […]

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Georgia’s Underbelly

I have a new job. I start next week, and while anxious about newness in general, I’m psyched and ready for the change of course to come. I could’ve gone back to Charlotte this week. I could have chilled at my parents’ all week. Restless for more, I decided to continue #RunningAway with a solitary tour of Georgia’s underbelly. […]

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To Drown Myself and Be Weak

I’m tucked in my sleeping bag amid poison ivy and dirt. I’m sliding down uneven earth, and I readjust my sleeping bag atop my backpack to compensate. It’s pitch black. I have a headlamp, but I’m not allowed to use it. The students won’t have headlamps, so I can’t use mine. I can’t use my hammock either. Not yet. […]

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Love Will Find You

I’m sitting at Kudu Coffee in the heart of Charleston. The spacious, grassy Marion Square lies a block to my left. Another block down on Calhoun Street sits Mother Emanuel AME Church. I was here on #RunningTo just six months ago. Here at this coffee shop, there in the square, and even over there walking past […]

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This is My Nicotine

The last four months I’ve felt like a fish out of water, breathing strange foreign air I’d not breathed in a long time. It tasted a lot like the air of normalcy I left behind in California, but with a tinge of toxicity that’s grown into a veritable strain. It hurts to breathe this air. There’s something […]

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Jurassic Brothers: A “Jurassic World” Recap that Has Nothing to Do with Dinosaurs

I saw Jurassic World on opening weekend alongside 4.6 billion others. Not quite opening night, because that level of commitment is reserved for more sacred stuff like Star Wars. (175 more days. But who’s counting?) Chris Pratt playing with raptors? Riding alongside them on a motorcycle? Some sort of big bad hybrid dino? Even though the trailers […]

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This is why I believe in Jesus.

Forget the Bible. Forget historical records. Forget faith and personal conviction. Forget all those things for this single aching moment. I believe in Jesus because of forgiveness. But not just an afterthought-sort of forgiveness made for misdeeds done decades ago. No. I believe in Jesus because of face-to-face forgiveness for a man who took someone you love less […]

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When Hillsong United’s New Song “Hurts Like Hell”

Hillsong United released Empires last week, debuting at #5 on the Billboard 200. “Christian worship band” notwithstanding, it’s an impressive showing. Though Empires doesn’t resonate with me as much as last year’s Zion, it’s still a solid offering. If nothing else, Hillsong United keeps reinventing itself with every album. It’s crazy hearing the Hillsong United of today compared with Hillsong of the 90’s. […]

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How to Find Home

I wandered over to Chattanooga for Memorial Day weekend. I filmed some exploits at North Carolina’s DuPont State Forest en route to Tennessee. Be on the lookout for that fun video soon. Hiking the trails at DuPont and camping out that night gave me a real return to #RunningTo. It was a whimsical wandering among waterfalls that left me longing anew for […]

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My Soul Song

Sometimes your ink is dry. Sometimes the keystrokes won’t come. Sometimes your soul needs a break. Sometimes a song better translates your heart. Maybe sometimes the Holy Spirit likes to dance on different wavelengths.

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I Don’t Want to Be Your Hero

I saw Boyhood while #RunningTo took me to a coffee shop in High Point, North Carolina. I watched all 166 minutes of it on my laptop. I’m sure the baristas were wondering what in the world was with that bearded wanderer who kept erupting into teary hysterics. I could write a dozen blog posts about the film itself — the simplistic plot, the […]

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28.2 Road Trip Travel Tips

Over the course of my 282 days on the road, I built a list of 28.2 road trip travel tips. I gathered some of these valuable tips from other wanderers who’d trekked before me; many others, I learned as I went. I wanted to share my list with you for whenever the road beckons your name as it did mine. […]

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I Don’t Get Bruce Jenner

I wrote about transgender people a little while back. In recent months I’ve felt God leading me toward greater empathy of transgenders. I still don’t fully understand the transgender experience, but then I’ll never truly grasp the straight experience or blind experience or Braves fan experience either. The more stories I hear, though, the more puzzle pieces slide into place. The more I see […]

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5 Reasons You Should Try Couchsurfing

A lot of people reached out to me throughout my 9-month road trip. I heard from college and high school classmates I’d not seen in years. I stayed with readers of my book and this blog. But I also used a website called Couchsurfing to find hosts all over North America. I actually relied on Couchsurfing a lot. I didn’t […]

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My #RunningTo Road Trip Playlist

I spent 282 days on the road in a car without working speakers. Some might have called my predicament tragic. Many folks offered their disbelieving condolences over the course of 26,301 miles. But my speakerlessness had been nothing new. My Mitsy actually hasn’t had operable speakers since 2011. While initially tragic, my car’s thundering silence grew on me. […]

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I Wanna Be Nasty Like an Inchworm

It is spring, and Charlotte has grown infested with inchworms. It’s like Georgia with ladybugs, only this is worse. Much, much worse. Oh, what’s that? You think inchworms are so cute? The adorable way they arch-and-stretch, arch-and-stretch, arch-and-stretch? You think inchworms are the BEST little wormies? Even better than Wormies by Jana? Oh no, dear reader; you are wrong. You are so wrong. Inchworms […]

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WWBGD: What Would Bob Goff Do?

Bob Goff is one of my heroes. I first heard about Bob in a Donald Miller book, and then he wrote a book himself. After reading Love Does, I got the sense that Bob Goff does something epic and whimsical every single day. He rides an Indian elephant to work or makes a balloon elephant for a child […]

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Embracing the New “No Collar” in Me

I’ve always been a huge Survivor fan. Though my fanfare has waned in recent years, the grandfatherly reality show remains compelling to me. This current season has pitted a tribe of “white collar” people against a tribe of “blue collars” against a tribe of so-called “no collars.” We can all envision the suited white collar person indoors and the grimy blue […]

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Nothing Lasts. That’s the Beauty.

Before I embarked on what would ultimately amass a 9-month quest across the continent, I invested in some business cards with a personal quote on the back. Those 22 words soon encompassed something so much more than a mere road trip: I tend to wander. It doesn’t make me lost; it just helps me find things I didn’t know I […]

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#RunningTo Stats: By the Numbers

Last week my nine-month road trip finally crossed the finish line in Charlotte. It’s been an interesting week, to say the least — a unique week of an unsettling settling. I’m certain I’ll have more to blog about as this altogether new journey in the Queen City unfolds, but in the meantime I want to […]

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Why I Moved to Charlotte and Why I’m Freaking Out

Last weekend, I concluded my nine-month road trip with one final adventure to the Smokies. It was a gorgeous time. It was a torturous time. It was a sleepy solitary much needed recharging time. That cabin in the Smokies was a distraction-free arena to determine my post-journey existence. After nine long months on the road, I’d narrowed down my next chapter to three cities. Three […]

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I Don’t Entirely Know Who I Am Anymore

Last week was a great week. I reunited with my parents, brother, sister, and brother-to-be. Parties and meals and heart-to-heart conversations all affirming how blessed I am. On Valentine’s Day I spontaneously trekked to Signal Mountain in southern Tennessee with my brother and his roommate. The hilarity of three dudes doing dude-things in the mountains on a day devoted to romantic bliss […]

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#RunningTo Week 36 in Review: Savannah, Jacksonville, St. Augustine, Brewton-Parker College

ONWARD. My road trip may be nearing the end, but I still found some places in the Southeast worth wandering. Week 36 rounded out my quest for the Contiguous 48. First up, Savannah. I can’t believe I’d never explored this city until now. The spooky/ethereal Spanish Moss trees make for some of the sweetest streets and city squares I’ve ever […]

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I Don’t Get Transgender People

I struggle with a lot of stuff. You might have heard. Some of my struggles have eased over time, and others remain . . . well, a struggle. I am a critical person. I don’t always show it, but I certainly think and feel it. I’ve been self-critical as long as I can remember. Tom, you’re unattractive and quiet and […]

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North Carolina Never Disappoints

North Carolina has always been good to me. Well, I mean, there was that whole Ridgecrest debacle — but that only lasted a couple weeks. The rest of that 2012 summer quite literally changed the rest of my life. Then there was another North Carolinian summer in 2007 — that time me and my siblings took our first […]

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#RunningTo Week 33 in Review: Maryland’s Eastern Shore, Norfolk, North Carolina

Now that the holidays have come and gone, it’s time for me to reassume some familiar routines: namely, recapping the wandering week that was! Here’s what went down this past week — my 33rd on the road. I exchanged my family in eastern Pennsylvania for Maryland’s Eastern Shore, and it was gorgeous. The Chesapeake Bay has a thing […]

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#RunningTo Week 28 in Review: Pittsburgh, Berne, Detroit

Hello my wanderers! The journey continues . . . westward? I’m taking these couple weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas to work my way westward — though not that far west before returning east for Christmas. From Pittsburgh to Berne (Indiana, not Switzerland) to Detroit, it’s been a fun little loop seeing new cities and, more gratefully, meeting genuine people. Check out these […]

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I’m Afraid to Stop Running

I recently launched my first Kickstarter. It’s geared toward funding the completion of my #RunningTo road trip and the book that will follow. I’m currently 44% funded, and I’m so grateful. We’ve come a long way, but there’s still 56% more to go in just 16 days. Everyone who gives (and already has given) will get something […]

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#RunningTo Weeks 25 & 26 in Review: Niagara Falls, Toronto, Ottawa, Montreal, Acadia National Park, Boston

So. I apologize. In racing across eastern Canada and New England to make it back to Eden in time for Thanksgiving, I missed blogging last week. THERE WAS NO TIME. To rectify the situation, I’ve combined this week’s usual “week in review” into a double-dose of weekly review goodness. It all started with my first […]

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#RunningTo FAQ: Part 2

Five long months ago, I posted one of my favorite #RunningTo posts. It was a collection of frequently asked questions, and even though I thoroughly answered the seven most frequently asked of them all, everyone still asked them again anyway. WHATEVER. I don’t mind repeating myself. But after all these months and thousands of accumulated miles, some more […]

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Tipping Point

It’s November. My notoriously worst month. But I’ve already blogged enough about that. Once again, November presents another tipping point for my life. Not a “bad” one, not a “good” one, just a … a regular old tipping point. From January 1 to May 31, I was a resident of the state of California. I paid rent […]

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#RunningTo Week 23 in Review: Kentucky, West Virginia, Western Maryland, Gettysburg, Amish Country

Week 23 of #RunningTo took me through some gorgeous country just west of the Appalachians. I reunited with a long lost friend in Kentucky, and I also got to meet a fellow blogger and friend for the very first time! From the Bluegrass State I ventured north and east to West Virginia’s capital city — the […]

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Road to Ridgecrest

Before hitting the road, I knew I’d be adding some vibrant new colors to my traveling palette. The Grand Canyon. Mount Rushmore. Vancouver. Before hitting the road, I knew I’d also be reuniting with some old familiar colors. Sweet Seattle. Old Milwaukee. A Pennsylvanian Eden. Among all the colorful locales on my #RunningTo itinerary, however, there probably wasn’t one as […]

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#RunningTo Week 21 in Review: Birmingham, Huntsville, Franklin, Nashville

Hello friends! This week’s pictures are coming a little later than usual, but that’s only because I’ve been too busy seeing all kinds of awesome stuff on the road. And meeting awesome people, too. Some “normal” people…and some semi-famous folk, too. From the Alabaman cities of Birmingham and Huntsville to the Tennessean towns of Franklin and […]

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Just Keep Walking Inland

I was never a big Jars of Clay fan; I’m a horrible Christian kid of the 90’s, I know. Give me Steven Curtis Chapman or give me death. Lately, though, Jars of Clay’s stuff has resonated. Especially their more recent creations meshed with my current season of life. Enter my latest struggles. Enter five months of this #RunningTo life on the […]

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When We Go to Uruguay

DAY 122: Couchsurfing is a beautiful thing. I’ve relied on the website for about a quarter of my #RunningTo stops across North America, and I’ve yet to have a negative or even remotely unpleasant experience. Most of my surfing stops have featured myself with a single host or married hosts or hosting roommates, but sometimes I’m not the […]

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#RunningTo Week 18 in Review: St. Louis, Memphis, Little Rock, Oklahoma City

What a week! I’ve recently been zig-zagging down (and left and right) through the Midwest, and there’s been something exciting and picturesque at every turn. Last week’s photographic recap ended with St. Louis, and this week’s recap starts with my final days there. St. Louis is such a stellar city, and I’m glad a last-minute detour took […]

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I Visited Westboro Baptist Church

DAY 114: For years they have intrigued me. I’ve watched their interviews and demonstrations on TV and YouTube. They travel the world, hailing from the innocuous center of Kansas and America. They call themselves Baptists — supposed believers of the same Jesus I follow. As I park my car in a Topekan residential area, I approach 12th Street with a distinct shudder. NO […]

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WHEATON

DAY 110: It was just another day. I woke up in Chicago and figured I’d take a slight detour en route to Iowa. It’s something I told myself I’d do before #RunningTo started: take the detours. Wander the winding ways around Points A to B. Don’t rush. Explore. And so I drove an hour west to Wheaton, […]

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Why Am I Still Wandering?

When you wander the continent for three months, you start to wonder some things. Why is the sky blue? Why do we insist on block intersections when roundabouts are so much cooler and more efficient? What’s the deal with Scotland? Aren’t they already a country? Among myriad other questions, I’m pondering one in particular after […]

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MILWAUKEE, Take 3

Three years ago, I first ventured to this Midwestern city. Called it home for an entire summer as I learned what it meant to receive love in community while simultaneously ministering to one. Two years ago, I returned to this city with a gut lined with lonely dread only to rediscover the Paradise it once was. On […]

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Basking in the Badlands for Billions of Years

The Lakota Indians called it mako sica. French trappers labeled the landscape les mauvaises terres à traverse. Deemed and doomed a literal “bad land,” this devastating terrain made farming and traversing — even existing — a difficult if not impossible feat. And so the Badlands were born; millenia later, the Badlands remain. Driving through the endless prairies of southwestern South Dakota, you wouldn’t see […]

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10,000 Miles of #RunningTo

When I first set out across North America in June, I envisioned an ultimate journey of maybe 10,000 miles. A nice round number. And nice big number. I had no idea I’d be hitting that nice big number just north of North Dakota with an entire eastern seaboard still awaiting my arrival. Spectacular. Check out my grand […]

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#RunningTo: Week 12 in Review: West Palm Beach, Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse, The Badlands

So, this last week of wandering was one of the most random and diverse yet. I flew to south Florida for my uncle’s wedding, then returned to my poor lonely car in Denver and resumed my road trip eastward. I saw Mount Rushmore and Crazy Horse, the astounding Native American rock sculpture that’s been in progress since 1948 (and […]

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