A Decade Without Annie

The vortex of my loathing for November stems from this date a decade ago. The day I lost my dog, Annie, to a freak accident. An accident I was convinced was connected to my first bout with pornography and God’s judgment. A decade later, I’ve laxed on the whole God punishing me thing; a decade later, I still miss that dog dearly. I hug and cuddle all these other dogs in Asheville, daily at my job and dog-sitting at people’s […]

Inhaling Grace: Reacting to Fred Phelps’ Death

According to a recent USA Today article, Westboro Baptist Church’s Fred Phelps is “on the edge of death.” In another article, Fred Phelps’ estranged son further reports that his father had been recently excommunicated from the very church/cult he founded. A man rejected by his own hate group, now facing death’s doorway mere months later? The whole thing is just bizarre. While many will undoubtedly cheer the death of a man who singlehandedly made GOD HATES FAGS an infamous “thing,” I find […]

I Still Miss You, Annie

Friday, October 19, 2013: It is the final night of my first return to Georgia in a whole year. And for the first time since abandoning the South three years ago, I am actually sad to be flying back “home” to California tomorrow. Normally, I am not sad; normally, I am beyond ready to return to my new life after a few days spent reliving my old one. After just three or four days of my mother’s blueberry pancakes and […]

November: I Kinda Really Hate You

I hate November. Those who know me best know this isn’t much of a secret. Ever since my dog died six years ago this month, I’ve dreaded these 30 particular days of the year. Truthfully, I can’t remember experiencing a “good” November since 2006 attacked. I always anticipate strife and struggle and regret and remorse for this month. And it’s basically what I get every year. I’m desperate to change my mindset this November. 

November Angst

Today is hard. Five years ago today I lost one of my best friends who just so happened to have four legs and an excitable little tail. And just last year, almost to the day, I lost a friend who I’d never even met in person, and yet profoundly impacted — indeed, continually impacts — how I interact with others on a daily basis. I wrote the following post on Facebook a year ago; thought it’d be fitting to edit […]

TMZ: Struggler

As mentioned in my last post, I’ve basically been observing since the day I was wheeled from the hospital room. Being an observer has always been engrained in me, and I’ve got 23 (soon to be 24) journals to prove it. As for being a struggler: this is a relatively newer facet of my life. By “relatively newer,” I mean to say that the first 12 years of my life was about as blessed and stress-free a decade as one […]