I Don’t Get Transgender People

I struggle with a lot of stuff. You might have heard. Some of my struggles have eased over time, and others remain . . . well, a struggle. I am a critical person. I don’t always show it, but I certainly think and feel it. I’ve been self-critical as long as I can remember. Tom, you’re unattractive and quiet and weird. Tom, you’re not a good writer. Tom, you’re a horrible friend. The cynical list goes on and on, but I’ll halt the brakes on the Self-Deprecating Express. […]


DAY 110: It was just another day. I woke up in Chicago and figured I’d take a slight detour en route to Iowa. It’s something I told myself I’d do before #RunningTo started: take the detours. Wander the winding ways around Points A to B. Don’t rush. Explore. And so I drove an hour west to Wheaton, Illinois, parking in the shadow of a building named after Billy Graham. An academic building on the beautiful campus of Wheaton College. It is a campus […]

The Exodus Altar

This past weekend, I went hiking with two friends. We hit the dust at 7am, venturing to the coast of Laguna Beach, the Pacific Ocean bashfully greeting us beneath swirling molasses of white fog. It actually wasn’t my first time hitting those hilly coastal trails. Two months prior, I hiked at this very location with 15 other guys. 15 courageous inspiring men who mean the world to me though I hardly even “knew” most of them, really. I met many […]

Exodus International Shuts Down and We All Move Onward

This is the third in a three-part blogging series on my four-year return to the Exodus International Freedom Conference. For the first part, “Impressions,” click here. For the second part, “Lessons Learned,” click here. For a video of a ninja cat, click here — and then wander back here for the conclusion to this Exodus International series. Four years ago, Exodus International changed my life. Without this organization, without that pivotal freedom conference of 2009, my life — my story — […]

My Last Exodus Conference: Lessons Learned

This is the second in an epiK three-part blogging series on my four-year return to the Exodus Conference. For the first part of this series, “Impressions,” click here. For the third part, “Onward,” transport yourself to the future. And then tell me how you did that cuz I wanna go too. When you attend an Exodus Conference (which, just for clarification from here on out, you won’t since Exodus is shutting down – but roll with me), you learn a thing or […]

My Last Exodus Freedom Conference: Impressions

14 July 2009. After driving 15 hours through the night, I wearily parked my car at Wheaton College just outside Chicago. Groggy and petrified, I stepped into the bizarre new universe that was the Exodus Freedom Conference – an alien reality of unmasked interiors around every bend. The theme of that 2009 conference was “Make Us One,” and by the end of that momentous week, I certainly experienced a “oneness” with other Christians unmatched in the twenty-and-three years prior. The […]

Quarter-Life Confessions of a Gay Christian

I recently published a book. My first. You might have heard. It’s all about struggle and redemption, and I titled it Struggle Central: Quarter-Life Confessions of a Messed Up Christian. But that’s almost not what it was called. I spent many weeks brainstorming the perfect title. The “Struggle Central” portion emerged without much conscious effort thanks to last summer’s hearty camp experience hiding in bathroom stalls – my centralized Struggle Headquarters of four flimsy walls and a toilet. The main […]