I Love/Hate California

Six months ago, I decided to be reckless. I was out running by a lake near my home in Asheville as that all-too-common feeling of stuckness squelched my every step. I needed a change — what else is new? — something to plan, somewhere to run. As I literally ran in this moment of desperation, my thoughts latched onto the notion of a half-marathon. I’d run my first half four years ago as part of a 25th birthday celebration that also included my baptism […]

Love is Not the Greatest

I’ve watched approximately seven Boy Meets World episodes in their entirety, though plenty of passing clips. I’ve blogged about this show in the past, including its spinoff, because my younger sister would watch it after school, and the strong friendship between Corey and Shawn always kept my eyes craning. Lately, life circumstances have again caused me to draw from the well of this TGIF sitcom. Deep into the series, Topanga’s parents get divorced, and it scares her into breaking up with long-time boyfriend, […]

You’re just gonna leave me, so what’s the point?

I’m a sarcastic fellow. A dark fellow. A sad and sickly fellow with a twisted sense of humor that must often be tempered among the sunny masses. The older I get, the more cynical I’ve grown — or devolved. However you look at it. More and more frequently, I tell myself there’s just no point in reaching out to others, again and again and again, just to maintain a friendship that will ultimately prove fatal. After all, I’ve been there, done that too many […]

Snow That Traps and Beckons

I still remember sitting in that YMCA conference room last March, my third day of training for this new job and just my fourth day living in Asheville. I stared out the giant bay windows, mesmerized by flaky snow drifting downward from a vast gray expanse. This city I’d only ever known for summer camps and tanktops now threw me a new, wintry contrast. Last year’s snowfall only produced a thin dusting, and it wouldn’t snow the rest of the year. Wouldn’t […]

Another disaster of a year begins . . .

I hate new years. I hate resolutions. I hate the assumption that just because the calendar changes from one month and one year to the next, the past is wiped clean and anything is possible — well, for about two and a half weeks. And then it’s back to tubs of ice cream and pornography. While I, like many people, was happy to see the coffin close on 2016, I also entered 2017 feeling fast doses of reality flowing in […]

And to All a Good Riddance

As the grotesque mass of space garbage we call 2016 hurtles toward oblivion, people everywhere are cheering the prospect of a new year. Myself included. We’ve proclaimed this the worst year ever, what with a most bizarre election cycle, the deaths of numerous beloved celebrities, raging wildfires and natural disasters, and the opening of the first seal of the Apocalypse. 2016 wasn’t that great a year for me personally, either. I lost my first car. I lost my second car. […]

A Heart That Can Always Come Home

I’m an angsty guy, I’m realizing — shocker of the century, I know you’re screaming. I’m rarely ever content, but I do experience contentment. However fleeting. Holidays help ground me. They remind me where I came from and they tell me I’m not alone — even though I try to convince myself otherwise the rest of the year. In recent years, I’ve spent my Thanksgivings in many varied locations with many varied people (or lack thereof): a friend’s family in […]

If the man I am now were the man I was then

Do you ever wish you could transplant the essence of your being today into the shell of your being yesterday? In other words, do you ever wish you could take what you know now and live in that mindset back then? I drove to my parents’ place in Georgia last night and went strolling through my old university stomping grounds today. Dang. I felt this yearning for yesteryear — a yesteryear from another dimension, that is. A yesteryear that doesn’t […]