I Love/Hate California

Six months ago, I decided to be reckless. I was out running by a lake near my home in Asheville as that all-too-common feeling of stuckness squelched my every step. I needed a change — what else is new? — something to plan, somewhere to run. As I literally ran in this moment of desperation, my thoughts latched onto the notion of a half-marathon. I’d run my first half four years ago as part of a 25th birthday celebration that also included my baptism […]

Re-Learning How to Take Care of Myself

I’ve been living in Asheville for over two months now, and it’s been a mid-range roller coaster with moderate ups and downs. The new job and the Couchsurfing; the church-searching and the solitude; newfound stability versus my inner nomad. I’ve been attending a local support group twice a week for the last month, and I’m learning how to take care of myself again after a year in Charlotte where I let my life slowly slide away. I’m learning to take care of all of myself. At […]

Georgia’s Underbelly

I have a new job. I start next week, and while anxious about newness in general, I’m psyched and ready for the change of course to come. I could’ve gone back to Charlotte this week. I could have chilled at my parents’ all week. Restless for more, I decided to continue #RunningAway with a solitary tour of Georgia’s underbelly. ~ ~ ~ It’s strange, calling a state home for eleven years — my address, my college, my first driver’s license — and feeling no […]

When Running: It’s Okay to Stop and Walk

I’ve been running for a while. Both physically and figuratively. But I’ll focus on the latter another time. Well, maybe. I ran cross country and track in high school. Have continued running for pleasure ever since, and I even completed a half-marathon this spring. I love running. Running offers my physical blood the benefit of pumping a little faster and my introverted blood the chance to unwind. I love running, but I think I love running too much sometimes. Too much […]

One Word 365: My Spring Check-In

My One Word 365 for 2012 is courageous. After five months of this slightly less sparkly new year, I wanted to check in with my spring progress. Not in a puff-myself-up kind of way, but more of a trying-to-stay-accountable sort of way. In short, it’s been a life-changing year. In long… I met with one of the most inspiring people I may ever meet. He’s a phenomenal writer and an even better person. Just been so blessed by this guy. […]

On Finishing My First Half-Marathon

I ran my first half-marathon last week. I had several goals going into this 13.1-mile romp along the Pacific coast: Don’t walk. Just don’t. Don’t go to the bathroom at mile 8. Don’t resort to running shirtless because of nipple-chafing. Do keep blisters to a minimum because they will inevitably happen. Do break the 2-hour threshold. Well, I can proudly say I accomplished all of my major goals — thanks in large part, no doubt, to my free pre-race massage. […]

The Day Lies Died

I am worthless. I have no purpose, no “point.” I am doomed to fall, doomed to fail, repeatedly and hard, regardless of any earnest effort. Maybe because of my earnest effort. I am alone. I cannot love or be loved. Not the “right” way, whatever that even means. Having a spiritual “family” is an impossible myth. I have no courage; my “one word” for 2012 is a total joke. I cannot step out like others so effortlessly do. Other Christians. […]

Why You Need to Get Lost

I’m training for a half-marathon on April 22. I realize this event could potentially thrust me into hating running forever, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. From now until April 22, my goal for each Saturday is to run 15 continuous minutes longer than the previous week. Last weekend I aimed to hit the 90-minute mark, and I hit it dead-center like a stone to Goliath’s forehead. But the victory over my 90-minute goal soon turned into a […]